Dementia can make you feel crazy

So, as a nurse you always want to make people, things, and health situations better. Sometimes that’s impossible and out of your hands. Well, imagine taking care of a parent with Stage 4 terminal cancer and progressive dementia. Not an easy task. Every day is different and sometimes makes me feel like I’m going crazy. My mom is in this state that makes her angry, agitated, and argumentative all the time. She has some good days, but the bad outweighs the goods. It takes a lot out of me and makes me feel incredibly out of control myself with my emotions etc. I try to keep quiet and stay calm, but it’s constantly being abused and mistreated on a daily basis that wears me down. It’s having my children be verbally abused and told she doesn’t want their love or prayer. I try to explain to them that it’s the disease process, but how do I get children to understand the hurtful words spoken and things done to them is not the grandmother they know and love. It makes my heart ache for her and my sons and me as well. Although I know I’m not literally going crazy, it sometimes feels like it. It’s a heavy burden to carry in addition to all the other things I have going on. Sometimes, I stay at work later than I have to just to prevent from going home and having to deal with her:{ But I go because I don’t want to leave my children subjected to her by themselves. I wish there could be peace, but until then, I’ll keep praying and pushing through.