This blog allows me to freely express my journey as a nurse, author, speaker, writer, business owner and blogger. The title simply identifies my gift to the world as a nurse. There are so many phenomenal nurses out there who exemplify “ShesThatRN.” I guess you know by now that it specifies females, but know that I understand there are male nurses who “HesThatRN” as well. You are not forgotten and I am grateful to share my platform with you also. Let’s just be ourselves, talk about the issues, come up with solutions, and take this journey together. My blog is my opinion and my truth and I choose to share it with the world. You may agree, disagree or have no comment and that is fine. Please be mindful that when commenting, it is important to be respectful no matter your opinion. I welcome you to come along for this ride as I learn about myself and share that with you. When it’s all said and done, I am my nurse sister and brother’s keeper!
Father & Son…It Wasn’t Suppose To Be This Way
Sometimes I don’t feel like doing what my heart or mind tells me to do. I’ve wanted to write about the loss of you two for a while but haven’t conjured up enough energy to do it. I am here because I saw this picture, which made me sit down and write. I’m unsure what I want to say, but here goes everything.
Since you’ve been gone, I’ve felt this emptiness, anger, and hurt that I surrender to God daily. Sometimes, I burst into tears for no reason except not being able to accept you’re not here anymore. Even now, I’ve taken so many breaks writing this because there’s so much I want to say to you, and you’ll never hear. Where did the time go? Tre, you’ve been gone almost 5 years, and Popa almost a year. Who would have thought or even imagined a father and son leaving this life in the manner both of you did. We are born and live without thinking of losing our loved ones until we do. I miss both of you so much and think about all the time I thought we had left to be and do better together.
Tre, if you could see your little girl now. She’s not so little anymore, but I still see your face in hers. I sometimes wonder how she’s really coping with your loss? You know, the things she doesn’t tell any of us. She used to talk about you a lot and say how much she missed her daddy. I think she keeps you closer to her heart rather than sharing it with us so much anymore. I’m sure she has moments where her mind wanders off to when you took her to the park and pushed her on the swing, how incredibly protective you were of her, and how she would climb in the bed and sleep with you. Oh, Tre, if you could see how incredibly beautiful and intelligent she is. She’s growing so fast, and we watch her closely, don’t worry. She stays under your mom and pop pop. She and Autumn stayed a weekend with me a little while ago. We didn’t do anything but enjoy each other’s company. We lay around watching movies, drawing, and simply being. She’s inquisitive, loves to draw like her mom, and seems to be doing well for all intents and purposes. You would be so proud of her, and Ari and Shyne watch her like a hawk. They literally think they’re her father, especially Ari, lol. She is protected, covered, and, most importantly, loved beyond measure. Nothing and no one can or will ever take your place. She will always and forever be her daddy’s girl.
Popa, you had so much potential and were trying to get it together. I asked God why He didn’t let you be who He created you to be? Why couldn’t He give you more chances to get it right? He gave me an answer, but I’ll keep that between Him and me. You are where you are supposed to be. Your assignment on this Earth was over, and I must accept that. It’s not easy, but I push through all the time. I hope to meet Walter one day so that he can get to know his dad’s side of the family. Know that he was loved by you so much. I know he wonders what happened to you and why you don’t come around anymore. One day he’ll hear the stories and see the pictures that show just how much you loved him. How hard you fought to get him and all the things you bought for him to come and live with you.
Now, your girls, well, I can see and feel the pain of your loss all over them. They don’t have to say anything. I sense it and know it. The two men in their lives they cherished are gone away forever. There’s no replacement for you in their hearts. Harold loves them unconditionally, and they are so blessed to have him stand in the gap for you as he’s done for so long. Every now and then, they post you, and Tre and I ache for them. I can’t imagine what they are feeling, having lost you so many years before, getting you back, and losing you again has done to them. I see the struggle with different things in their lives. I wish you were here to guide, advise, and protect them. So much time wasted when I think about it. Lord, give us strength.
So much loss these days. It feels suffocating at times. I sometimes feel like I’m in a dream, and one day I’ll wake up, and the people gone will magically reappear. That’s just my heart talking now. I know you’re both in Heaven with mommy having a grand time. Everyone here will be okay. We just miss y’all like crazy, so until we meet again, we’ll carry you in our hearts. Continue being our angels and watching over us.
With Much Love,
Your sister and aunt Sharon
God’s Love BECAUSE of Me and Not Despite Me
It’s a new year, and God has already given me revelations. I woke up around 5am Tuesday morning, standing in the kitchen at the stove. He told me, “Sharon, I love you because of you, not despite you.” You see, I always thank God for loving me despite me. What he showed me is that there is no despite me. It was, in fact, because of exactly who He created me to be and who He knew I’d become. He explained that although I see myself as unworthy of His love because I often falter, I make mistakes, break promises, and intentionally go my way instead of His, which is why He loves me. And because of that unconditional love in the future tense, not the here and now, He died for me. When I think about how many times I’ve just wanted to feel loved properly, I always forget how much God loves me. Not literally, of course, but in the physical sense of the word.
I have no resolutions, but I will keep God’s love for me first and foremost in my heart. Being human beings, it’s natural to want to be loved. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want that, whether they say it or not. It’s one of the hierarchy needs we have. My practice will be to remember and remind myself as often as I need that what I seek is already with me. I know I have love, but particular voids in my life need filling. Those areas are where I am asking God to envelop, prune, and get me ready for all the things He is bringing into my life. I say I’m ready, but I know a lot in me needs to be fixed so I won’t destroy my blessings.
So, my friends, here is to a New Year filled with endless possibilities of everything we can imagine or hold in our hands and hearts. I pray abundance and overflow for you and me. I pray that we are more obedient to God’s word and use the spirit of discernment to see what isn’t good for us. I pray we refrain from intentionally and unintentionally harming our minds, bodies, and spirits. Have a blessed year. I am off to a great start. Don’t forget to follow me on IG “shesthatrn & shesthatrn_xperience,” on Facebook “shesthatrn,” and TikTok “@shesthatrn.” And while I’m at it, don’t forget to stop by shesthatrn.org and pick up some body butta. I have a new Men’s Line with wonderful scents. Go check it out and order yours today. Repeat after me, “I Am Prosperity” now carry on!
Until Next Time,
I’ve been in a dead space lately. I mean, I’ve had a wonderful launch of my new business, and it was amazing, to say the least. I know I had been speaking about walking away from the bedside for a while, but I literally jumped out on faith and did it. I trust God to provide for my every need because He gave me permission to do it.
Okay, enough of that. I have been thinking a whole lot about my brother’s death. Yesterday, God spoke to me while I was in an emotional state. He said, “your brother received a dishonorable discharge.” I was like, whoah, God, what in the world does that mean?” As I quietly awaited a response, He shared some things with me. I’m going to share what he gave to me with you. So, when my brother died, it was a complete shock to us all. He had just been home (Baltimore) for a visit and was fine. We began worrying when no one heard from him, and he lived in North Carolina. Several days turned into weeks, and we discovered his death via social media. It was the town where my mom lived, and no more family was there except my brother.
I cried for weeks and couldn’t get myself together. I wanted to have a memorial service or something to celebrate his life. Now, my brother was not perfect by any means, and he lacked in so many areas due to so many reasons. But who am I to judge? I’m not because no one is perfect, and we all have our mess, right, right. My brother had no type of memorial or funeral service. This had/has me deeply saddened inside. I felt like there was no goodbye or finalization for losing a loved one. I thought about the life he led beyond being imprisoned for 21+ years. I mean, who he was at the core. He was loyal to a fault, old-fashioned, loved his family, loved his children, would fight for what he believed in, and so much more. I can, but won’t focus on any negatives. God truly saw the best in him! He received a dishonorable discharge because we didn’t honor his life after his death. It has been such a burden on my spirit that some days it’s hard for me to do anything but cry. I took some of his ashes and still have not placed them in the urn I purchased because I haven’t been able to bear it. Putting him away is so final, and I just struggle with how he died and that he died alone with no one there. And still, he is not even a second thought anymore. He is just gone.
I don’t know what I expect(ed) because memorials and funerals are for the living, not the dead. He is gone and not worried about anything anymore. But here I am, having to say goodbye without saying goodbye. There was no opportunity to verbally say a word, or goodbye, or I love you. I will come to terms eventually and have my own memorial service for him and hopefully put things to rest in my mind and heart. For now, I just feel that he was given a dishonorable discharge which I think happens only when there is no one left who cares about you. I will have to give him an honorable discharge in my own way to have peace within myself. I don’t know any other way to do it. As for today, I will continue to pray and ask God to rid me of my paralysis so that I can honor his life and legacy the way I know he would honor mine. No matter what, he was a son, brother, proud father, and even more, proud grandfather, friend, family, boyfriend, and best friend to many people, which should not be forgotten.
Moment of thought to ponder on: What kind of life are you living? Is it one that will be remembered, good or bad? Will you be a first thought, second thought, or thought at all in anyone’s mind? What will people say about you, or will you just die and have no one to care about your life or the fact that you died. I know you won’t care once you’re gone, but it’s something to consider if you’d like. Do with it what you please I’m just sharing my thoughts.
Farewell, my Brother, affectionately known as Popa
Until Next Time,
I’m so tired and sleepy until I find my mind in a constant arrhythmia of pounding. I want to close my eyes and sleep, but I feel unrested in my soul. Things are happening to me and for me. I’m right at the edge of a breakthrough, and I CAN see it. I mean, I can literally see my dreams coming true. So why does that scare me so? Why do thoughts of turning around or turning back linger in my head? Because it’s happening, and I have a choice to make. I can stand with gratitude and enjoy watching myself step into my future with God all around me. Or, I can stay where I am, lapping up the waters of self-doubt, fear, and the thousands of feelings of what if I fail, what if I’m moving too fast, what if no one comes, what if I lose everything?
I move with caution into the realm of the unknown. Not sure of what’s awaiting me just around the bend, but nervously excited. Remembering all the encouraging words I’ve spoken to people over their lives and businesses. Trying to reciprocate that to myself and for myself. I realize I’m scared and find myself fighting back these tears of fear. Life is happening, and I am apprehensive about whether I am ready to receive everything I’ve been asking for. Stop swallowing your tears and allow them to wash down your face and body like rivers of living water. You are worthy, you are love, you are deserving, you are here, and you are ready, my dear.
Push through the fear, push past the pain of uncertainty because, hunni, there’s a whole world of wonderfulness awaiting you. And while you’re contemplating every intricate detail, people are waiting to be blessed by your healing, by your hands, by your words, by your heart. What is there to fear? What exactly are you scared of? Your deepest fear is not that you are inadequate, Sharon. Your deepest fear is that you are powerful beyond measure. Come through Jesus. Who am I, Lord, that you would be mindful of me? Quite simply put, I am yours, and you are mine.
Rest in what you know, believe it when you can’t see it, and for goodness sake, don’t let “you” be the person to block your blessings. Surrendering all …
Until Next Time
I find that I’m the most inconsistent person I know. Why? because I get bored really easily and sometimes things just seem tedious and I don’t feel like doing it. Quite honestly, I’d rather pay someone to do all the things I consider mundane and I think that’s okay too. At least I can identify my little idiosyncrasies. I started keto meals and got really bored with chicken all the time and cauliflower. Lord, I wish they’d make some meals with steak or something else. Even though they have burgers and salmon, the meals are pretty repetitive in nature which isn’t very exciting to me. I never considered myself exciting or wild, but I guess even I crave a little excitement in some way. Even if it is small gestures or pleasures. I would tell you that I’m going to work on being inconsistent, but I won’t lie. I don’t really know that I will, but I’m conscious of it and move when it hits and sit still when it doesn’t.
Question? Are there areas in your life where you are inconsistent? Does it bother you or are you doing fine with it being that way? Do you think things would change for the better if there was more consistency in your life? These are some questions I’m asking myself. I’ll let you know what I come up with when I figure it out. Have a wonderful evening and…
Until Next Time,
I’m Pregnant Y’all
Well, I’ve been pregnant for quite some time now. My journey has had me in labor for a really long time. My brother just passed away, and God has my full attention. I understood that the pain from his death was pushing me or instead forcing me into the labor process. It’s time to start pushing, even though I’m only 4.5 centimeters. I’ve been stuck at 1 centimeter forever, and I was comfortable and complacent. But DEATH did something to change that.
My brother was not just my brother; he was a son, a dad, a grandfather, a friend, a cousin, a nephew, and more. I can sit here and write about the immense pain I felt when learning about his death on the morning of his 54th birthday, but I won’t. I will say underneath all the horrific pain I was and still am feeling is the reality of death. All the things that I felt so comfortable with are changing. All the things God has been telling me to do and placed in my heart, I am doing. I am actively living in the moment and moving in my gifts. I am not exactly a go-getter. I do what I have to do, but I’m not the one to run out and just start doing. It takes time; I analyze all the details, live in my fears, and console my doubts. Not anymore.
There is a sense of urgency because I don’t know if tomorrow is reality anymore. I have to live for today and make moves now instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity. So, the books are being written, the new businesses are being activated, and preparations are being made to solidify my legacy for generations to come. Popa, my brother, has given me a new outlook on life because of his death. I am birthing all the things I’ve been holding onto for whatever reasons. I’m looking for a property that will accommodate all my businesses in one setting. Not saying too much because when God gives you the vision, it’s for you to see it through. When you talk to people about God’s idea, they sometimes try to encourage you out of it (that is a polite way of putting it).
A few days after losing my brother, God dealt with me about my life and his death. I heard an old song on my echo dot by James Cleveland’s “Where Is Your Faith.” God wanted to know where my faith was and why it wasn’t activated. Of course, I told him I still had faith, but I had to ask myself was that true. Did I really have faith in God, and had that faith been shaken with the loss of my brother? My answer was that I had disbelief which is the opposite of having faith. I had to go back and start re-examining many things in my life. It’s something else when an unexpected death shakes your core.
I surrender. That’s what I told God. See, sometimes we have to go back to where we first received him. Back to the beginning so we can remember that feeling of excitement and all the reasons we made the decision we did. Those are my thoughts and opinions. What can I say to you that would help you through your pregnancy. Go back to the beginning and remember the feeling and your why. Get excited again for all the endless possibilities that await you once you start pushing. Push through the pains of labor, push through the pains of doubt, push through your fears. You can do this! I can do this! Together, we can do this! We hear a lot of people and songs saying this is my season. Well, I’m telling you that this is your season and mine. I’ve gotten started already, so what are you waiting for? Let’s get to it…
Keep The Faith
This will be a quick one for those reading my blog tonight. I’ve been noticing quite a few things lately. And I must say I don’t really like some of it, but such as life. I am moving in many directions, and the good thing is I have open ears. So, I can clearly hear those who smile at me but are wishing and waiting for my downfall. I can see the ones making fun of what I do and how I do it. They don’t realize I can discern their spirit and how they’re moving. I have been hearing from God so vividly, and He’s been preparing me for the hate I see and the hatred I cannot see. Even though it can be bothersome to my spirit, my skin is thicker than it was years ago. I can brush things off, give you a smile, and say, “I see you, hater.” You act like you’re happy for me but not really. I know people are good when you’re right where they are, or they like keeping you where you were instead of where God is taking you. Forget that fam and friends. Keep your mind focused, your feet planted firmly, and your eyes looking to the hills from which cometh your help. Be faithful, steadfast, and unmovable! Even when you feel like you can’t do it. Even when it seems too onerous or like you’ll never get where you want to be. Stop, Look, and Listen. The journey has a lot to say to you and show you. Don’t look left or right; keep looking ahead and use your peripheral to detect unwanted thoughts, sayings, and anything else that keeps you from your higher self. I don’t care anymore. I have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill, and I can’t lose my traction because of all the distractions. So, I encourage you to do the same. Remember who you are and who’s you are. Life is no shorter for you and me than for the next person. The difference is what we choose to do with it. Let’s keep the faith and keep DOING! Faith without works is DEAD! Have an incredibly blessed night, everyone. Don’t forget to order one of my books on Amazon. I’ll have them available on my website soon. I have a few copies of the children’s book available now on my website http://www.shesthatrn.org. Please support and also go to my youtube channel and subscribe, like, and comment on “ShesThatRN.”
I’ve been working on several projects since I returned from Texas. I work quietly and try to stay focused even though it may look like I’m doing nothing to others. I am always doing something:) I’ve been working on ways to make passive income, but with things I love. Now here’s the thing about doing it for what “YOU” love. It may not always be best for selling or making profits. You really have to work on creating a supply that meets the demands of others.
I’ve been trying to create and publish a nursing journal for the past several weeks. It was meant to be simple but provide a space for nurses to write out their thoughts, fears, excitement, and whatever else we need to rid our brains of to release and have peace. Well, I kept going at this all alone. Working constantly and getting rejected over and over again. I kept saying to myself, “goodness, this is something simple, and you just keep getting rejected; you might as well give up.” Every week I was rejected, and every week, I’d go back and try again only to be rejected over and over again. I was sooooooo frustrated and exhausted that I’d step away some nights just to give my mind a break.
Well, I was talking with one of God’s Angels named Nina, who gave me words of encouragement with every encounter. She’s a Black business owner and understands the struggles of not just owning a business but getting it up and running, changing things, failing, and having to start over. She would speak into me and over me God’s prosperity. She would share ideas or suggestions that were very helpful. I shared with her how I’d been getting rejected time and time again and why. She gave me some insight that triggered me to remember a resource that could help me with my problem.
I did my due diligence with research and found someone to help me. I’ve always been afraid to ask for help. I would rather fail in silence without anyone knowing than broadcast my failures to the world. And I absolutely abhor rejection. I was looking at it all wrong. It is necessary to fail and lose sometimes. The denial and failure or losses prepare us to operate in such a way that when more significant opportunities present themselves, we’ll be ready to execute without hesitation. It’s all a part of the process, my friends, and going through it and understanding the process is essential to our growth and development.
I guess what I’m trying to say is early this morning, I received an email that said, “Congratulations, your book is published and live on Amazon.” I did it y’all. It was early, and I was sleepy and didn’t really pay any attention to it, but I realized it went through when I got up. It finally got accepted, and I was full of unspeakable JOY!!! I couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t think one “congratulations, it worked” had me fired up to do more. I have already sat down to work on another project to publish. I’m also working on a business venture that will allow me to do what I love and teach others in the health profession. I have 10 official years of nursing under my belt this year, but a lifetime of taking care of people. That “GIFT” has and will continue to make room for me. I’m also working on the book God gave me back in 2007 that I started but never finished.
There will always be naysayers, but find your circle, group, and people who will motivate, inspire and hold you accountable. You are not on an island alone. There are people to help you if you ask and acknowledge the need for help. I had to learn the hard way, but my prayer is that you will heed my humble advice and avoid unnecessary challenges through reading this. Lastly, even if you step away at times, it’s okay to take a breath and gain perspective; just don’t quit. You can do it! Stay focused, and keep working on it! It is working out for your good.
Now, please go support and purchase my 1st Nursing Journal. You can find it on Amazon under “Nursing Journals-Sharon Alton.” Buy them for yourself or nurses, you know. You’ll see another book on Crystals created, so help yourself to that one. Oh, I got so busy talking about the experience of the journal I forgot to mention that I finally got my first YouTube post up on my channel, “ShesThatRN.” Please go listen, subscribe, like, and share with others to show support. I’m in the startup phase, so I’ll get better with practice. But for now, your help is much needed and appreciated. Thank you in advance for being here, supporting me, and riding out this journey with me. Remember, whatever you do, DON’T QUIT!
Love On You Everyday
So much emphasis is placed on so-called special occasions or holidays. Of course, I’m speaking of Valentine’s Day in particular because it is today. This is just a short reminder that you’re special every day. You don’t require a “special holiday or occasion” on the calendar to celebrate you. Do something to celebrate how awesome you are as often as you like, and as large or small as you like. Today, take a walk, buy yourself flowers, order out or cook in, take a bubble bath, have a spa day, get a Mani/Pedi. It is so important for us to remind ourselves of our worth on a daily basis. The world may not and probably will not ever give you your props or value the quality of individual you are, but you should. Never forget you are special, today, tomorrow, and even in death. Now treat yourself like it. Have a beautiful and amazing day.
It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye
I know how hard it is to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to my mom was one of the “hardest” things I think I ever had to do. I’ve been confronted with the question of whether it’s easier when you know the person is dying or when it’s unexpected? Well, for me, neither is easy. I don’t care if they have been sick and now terminal; saying goodbye is hard, and letting go is even more challenging. There is no real preparation for losing someone. It’s not like getting a will or setting up a trust. It’s a human life, not documentation. Life is precious and when you watch it slip away it’s a slow death for both the patient and the family. There aren’t enough words to make that type of pain sting-free.
What happens when you hold the decision for a person to stay at home or move into a hospice facility? Or how about whether to let them remain on life support or pull the plug? People having this type of responsibility can struggle the most. It’s a huge deal and a heavyweight to bear. There are certain factors to consider when you have to make hard choices. I have sat with this for a long time. More so since becoming a nurse and watching my patient’s family suffer through this process.
I will share the main things I think and had to come to terms with concerning making life and death decisions. First, we must start with accepting the loss and that can take some time. We then have to consider what the person (patient, family member, friend) would want. Are you honoring their wishes/desires? What does the medical professional say (brain activity, quality of life, vegetative state, hope, terminal)? And then we make a decision from there. I’ve come to realize that when our person is gone, we tend to hold on for our own selfish reasons. It doesn’t help or benefit them to just be here when there is no chance for them to have any quality of life. There is extensive cost associated with prolonging life and the main benefactor to that is the healthcare organization, not the family. Now if that individual was going to have a chance at life, then of course I’d hold on to that with all my might. But if not, as much as it would hurt, I’d have to let them go.
Sudden, unexpected or unexplained death is no easier than seeing it coming. You are blown away and left without being able to say goodbye or rendering any type of help. You are often left with a plethora of unanswered questions that may or may not ever be answered. I just can’t see how one way of dying is better than the other. It’s not and that’s that.
In the end, if you’re the person making the decision, take your time, process what you need to process, and proceed the best way you can. Hopefully, you have someone to talk to and walk through the process with you which makes it somewhat easier at times. Always remember to take care of yourself. Your mental health is important and therapists are great options for talking through things and figuring out the best coping strategies for you to handle your emotions, feelings, and mental health. Always take care of yourself. Don’t lose yourself in the process. May God bless and keep you as you get through your grief and difficult time.