Leaving the Bedside

I don’t know about anyone else, but being a bedside nurse isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, I will admit that most of us make it look flawless or, at minimum like we’re true superheroes wearing a cape all the time. If only, right? I get it because I prepare for my exit every day. Nursing is indeed my ministry and passion. But I’m well aware that there are many areas I can utilize my knowledge other than direct patient care. The daily demands on a nurse’s mental and physical self can leave you contemplating what in the world I have gotten myself into. However, because you haven’t actually sat down, written out your vision and plan, things aren’t moving as quickly as you’d like. That is where I am right now.

I know that I have a business already that I have neglected quite a bit during this pandemic. Every day, I work and subject myself to a selfish, unforgiving, and overworked environment within healthcare. In return, every day, I prepare for my exit. I’m spending some time during this vacation preparing for my next steps. The most important being able to walk away from nursing full-time. I’ll still do it on my terms to maintain my nursing license, but nothing more than that. I have several things in the works, and of course, I’ll share them with you as they launch. But, for the nurse who feels underappreciated, underpaid, and stretched beyond realistic expectations, I’ll say this. Start preparing for your exit. Figure out your niche, determine what you want to do, address a problem within that arena and solve it for the people. It’s about supply and demand, and honestly, it may or may not have anything at all to do with nursing. For me, life is centered around nursing.

I can take anything and make it applicable. For example, nurses usually lack regular clothing because they’re always in scrubs. That means I can provide a business that sells scrubs or that sells clothing. There are so many things we can do that directly impact nurses and healthcare without standing at the bedside. I’m determined to write my vision, intentions, and plans. Then begin manifesting what I want through prayer, daily affirmations, and putting in the work to see it come to fruition.

So nurses, what is it you want to do? How do you plan to do it? And when will you leave the bedside to pursue your dreams within the dream of becoming a nurse. See, we’ve accomplished that much, so what’s next for you and me? As I stated before, I already have things in the works, but I want you to figure it out and go after what you want. If we learned anything from working during this pandemic, it is that life is short. Tomorrow isn’t promised to any one of us, and we need to live for today. So, what do you want to do today to get you closer to the tomorrow you see for yourself? Of course, this can apply to anyone within any profession, not just nurses.

Drop your comments below so we can encourage and uplift one another. Forget nurses eat their young. How about we nurture and take care of each other because we all know what it feels like to not have that. God’s blessings to you as you plan and prepare for the next chapter in your life. Feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk, vent, or work through any part of your process. My email address is sharon@shesthatrn.com. Let’s go get it…

Until Next Time,

You Can’t Please Everyone

I am happy to say that I’ve chosen myself for the last couple of days. I’ve been away to Charlotte, NC, and now I’m in Las Vegas on much-needed vacation time. The Charlotte trip was with family and Vegas. I’m alone. I’m always telling others to take care of themselves and not doing it myself. I decided to take some time away to just be me and step away from the usual hustle and bustle of life. In doing so, I realize that you just can’t please everyone, nor should you have to or try to. People will be who they are and feel how they feel and can’t control them, but you can manage your decisions about yourself.

I had some pictures in a cute bikini that I’ve had for a few years now. I went back and forth about posting photos in it. I wasn’t sure if it was because I felt that I don’t have the perfect body or that I’d be body shamed for showing off the body I have. Either way, I decided that I’m beautiful just as I am. I said I’m not going to wait to celebrate me right now simply because I do not meet the world’s beauty standards. Instead, I’m going to be every bit as beautiful, whether I’m bigger or smaller, because I can’t please everyone, and I’m just sick of trying. When you’ve lived just about your entire life trying to please everyone, it’s hard to break the habit. It can be done in conscious steps, though.

I consciously said I’m posting these pictures because I’m proud of how far I’ve come in my weight loss journey. I can remember getting on an airplane, and I struggled to get my seatbelt fastened. I didn’t have that problem on this trip, and I was tickled pink about it. Or the time I tried to get on a rollercoaster with my son and was asked to get off because the seatbelt wouldn’t secure, and I was too fat to ride the coaster. I have suffered in silence and tormented myself into deep depressions about my weight. Not feeling good enough, or too much, or too big, or not small enough. Like I’m done with that, seriously. Say this with me now, “I am not here to please anyone or lessen myself because it makes others feel better. Instead, I am here to fully embrace and love myself at all cost.”

We have one life to live, and we need to live it to our fullest. There will always be someone unhappy about what you do or how you do it, but that is their opinion. And most of the time, people are truly unhappy with themselves and deflect that onto you. Don’t you go through enough with trying to be everything to everyone all the time? I know I do, and I grow tired of it because I’m human. People forget that they shouldn’t throw stones when they live in glass houses. And we forget to live for ourselves instead of living for other people.

I’ve battled with depression for years now, and most of it comes from trying to please other people. Break that cycle today so you can be free to live for yourself (ME)! Set your own standards and expectations for yourself and live according to that. I just had this overwhelming need to share this while lying here in my big bed on vacation. I was thinking about happiness and my sadness. What made them and what breaks them. I’m still processing but wanted to share what God had given me with you in hopes that it can help you in some way. I don’t proclaim to know it all; in fact, I struggle with life every day. I may make it all look easy to some, but wheww, let me tell you, it’s not. My mind contemplates many aspects of the “old” me, the “now” me, and the me I’m trying to become.

Whatever that is because I’m figuring that out each day that I wake up. I don’t have much more right now, but I hope this gives you the permission or validation you’re waiting for from someone in the universe to “live your life and make ‘YOU’ happy. We can do this together, one day at a time. Just start today…

Until Next Time,


Go With The Flow

Hey guys, so I have been pondering many thoughts about when we feel stressed, emotional, bewildered, and/or overwhelmed. Taking care of our physical, mental, and spiritual selves requires us to accept what we feel and not try to always be strong and indestructible. I had a conversation today about how I’ve been beside myself with things that have altered my mental wellness for the past few months. What I’ve come to realize is that everyone handles life’s twists and turns very differently. But the one thing that seems to be drilled into us is being strong.

Words such as “suck it up, God didn’t say it would be easy, pull it together, don’t let them see you sweat, and wipe your eyes” leave us believing that any signs of vulnerability or expression of our emotions are unacceptable. We’ve been conditioned to think that feeling any emotions other than positive ones is a sign of weakness. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not. That living up to whomever standards they are should not be your standard or perspective. Please don’t kill yourselves because you’re living up to other people’s individualized plans for your life. Please do what is absolutely best for you because you are important and your feelings are valid.

We cannot continue to define ourselves and our lives according to other people’s preset notions. Whatever you’re feeling, remember “You’re” feeling it, and only you know the reasons for those feelings. So, allow those feelings, think through them, pray through them, or whatever it takes and for however long it takes. Once you’ve done that, usually you can bounce back, but if you can’t, there’s always help.

So, as you know, I am a nurse, and it’s always been my calling and passion for helping people heal and live their best lives. Lately, meaning the last year or so probably since Covid, I have been really disliking the healthcare system. Since becoming a nurse and actually working within the system, I’ve seen so much I don’t like and have had this deep sense of not being able to make the changes within the healthcare system that would benefit nurses and patients. You may wonder why I put nurses before patients. It’s because if we’re not at our best mentally and physically, then we can’t give back to our communities in the way we should. We have to change the narrative and start taking better care of our nurses and healthcare workers. We are on the frontlines whether it’s a pandemic or not. Most often than not, we are “NOT” okay.

I’ve been going through considering leaving nursing altogether. I just feel pieces of my love for nursing, not people, slowly dissipate. I had a patient the other night who’d been in an accident, and I couldn’t do much in terms of moving them because of traction, pins, and rods. But, I offered to bathe them the best I could with a rag, soap, and water. Can I tell you that the patient and family members were so grateful for that “small” gesture of caring? They went on to tell me how they’d been asking, and it hadn’t been done. They only offered wipes, but the fact that I got a basin and hot water and cleaned the patient up from her face to the bottom of her feet meant so much to them.

God spoke to me at that moment and said, this is “WHY” you’re here, Sharon. I know sometimes it’s rough, and you want to throw it all away. And I know that it seems your love for the ministry I placed in you doesn’t always seem worth it. I also know that you are tired and often feel deprived of being loved and cared for in return. However, don’t be discouraged. These little moments that may not seem like much are more than enough. Know that you’re needed and necessary and that there are people who need what only you can give. I stopped and thanked God for giving me hope in the midst of what sometimes feels like hopeless situations. Although I remind myself that other people are worse than me, I also remind myself that whatever I’m feeling is equally important, even if only to me. Needless to say, I am still showing up and giving my all to a system that has no love for me because of those small moments that remind me why I’m here.

Whatever the capacity of love and giving you have, heal you first and keep showing up to provide what you can. Take intermittent breaks to administer yourself some self-love when you need it; however, that looks to you. I just want to end by saying you are necessary, needed, and loved.

Until Next Time,


Just Sharing…

You know what? When I’m writing, I try to leave my readers with something relatively positive. Today, I hope to do the same, but I’m not feeling myself. I want to cry, scream, and holler because I am experiencing all these emotions inside. I can’t, and if I did, I don’t want to disclose where it’s coming from. I really don’t know today, though, quite honestly. I just feel really heavy, uncertain of the future, and like I want to do something else with my life. So far, I’ve written a few sentences, and when I read them back to myself, it sounds like a lot.

Can I tell you something in case you haven’t realized it? It’s okay! It’s okay to feel this way today. I’m speaking to you and me. Every day doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’s okay to have a not-so-good day. I wrestle with many things, and some I speak about, but others I don’t. God knows, though, and He’s the only one that counts to me in my book. Some things aren’t meant to be shared with the world. They’re too personal for our judgemental society, albeit family or friends. If we’re honest, no one tells “EVERYTHING” about themselves to anyone. I’m no different.

The need to cry, scream and holler escapes me and has for several hours since I woke. I’ve been doing and giving myself every reason in the book why I shouldn’t or can’t release in these ways. Sharon, you’re strong, Sharon, you have too much to be grateful for, Sharon, don’t be vulnerable, Sharon there are others worse off than you, and so on and so on and so on. All of which is true in my eyes, but when do I give myself permission to be human? I don’t! Not really because I’ve conditioned myself to react a certain way to life. I have mastered my facade and always “okay” face. I can literally make you believe all is well without missing a beat.

Is that good? Not so much, but getting out of that way of living comes with some work and healing. I am actively working on my life’s healing, and I accept that. There’s no perfect being here on earth, and I think we should allow people to take the necessary space and time to heal themselves. Let me ask you this? How are you feeling today? How has life been treating you? Are you fairing well or so-so in this whole life-altering “pandemic and its aftermath?” What are the ways you cope with maintaining a positive outlook on life and a healthy mental state?

Please feel free to comment below. I am looking forward to reading what you share with other readers and me. Until then, find your safe place/space, ask for help when you need it, and be gentle with yourselves. This is a time of both lack and abundance. So, we need to find a way of dealing with life that results in our being at peace. I wish you peace, blessings, and God’s eternal love.

Moving Beyond It

I’m sitting here trying to work on a project, and I just don’t feel like it. To be quite honest, I’m trying to figure out my “why” for what I’m doing right now. I get so excited when I talk about it, but doing the work is less enthusiastic. So, now I find myself daydreaming and my mind wandering in a thousand places other than where it should be. I keep asking myself questions, feeding myself doubt, and then I said to write about it. So, here I am, figuring out how to move beyond it (the self-imposed emotional torment).

Moving beyond it isn’t always as simple as saying it. Things have to line up internally. Meaning, you have to get your mind to a place of acceptance and the desire to move beyond it. You have to allow for the alignment of the mind, body, and spirit. I can tell you that I have gotten my mind to this place, but everything else is trying to catch up. My body is tired from several nights of lack of sleep and waking up after only sleeping 2-3 hours. I mean Monday, I was up for 22 hours straight, and I was exhausted but couldn’t go to sleep. I think I’m stressing subconsciously about things taking place in my life at this moment. I’m dealing with my health issues, a move, school, and the need to get back to work. These aren’t things that I sit and contemplate about by any means, but I think my psyche just knows that they are concerns or worries.

“Suck it up buttercup as my recruiter would say sometimes.” So, I decided to take a minute and express and release my thoughts, hoping that it will help me move beyond them. I took the time to write and remove whatever is causing this little snafu. I can’t tell you that what works for me will work for you, but I can tell you to give it some thought and take action. Even if it’s a small action, remember something is better than nothing. Let’s do it together…Let’s move beyond whatever “IT” is and keep pushing forward.

Until Next Time,


Where You Been? Dealing With Covid And Bilateral Pneumonia

I’m glad you asked! I’ve been having respiratory issues for a few months now. And while I tested negative for Covid in February and treated for Asthma, I tested positive for Covid in March. I don’t even know where to start because I have a million things swirling through my head since then. I know I can’t share all my thoughts, so I’ll choose 1 subject to discuss in this post and circle around with consecutive posts.

Let me start by saying I don’t think I’ve ever suffered as much as I have with this Covid virus. Asthma turned into Covid with bilateral pneumonia (which just means pneumonia in both lungs for my nonmedical readers). I went to the hospital and could barely drive myself there. I mean, I literally had trouble walking to the car. Once I got to the hospital, there were no parking spots in the ER section, which meant I had to park on the regular parking lot and walk back up to the ER. Well, let me tell you. I had to sit and pray and ask God to help me get to the front door; that’s how bad I felt. Like I was going to pass out while walking. Then, I register and sat in the hospital’s waiting room for 8 1/2 hours before being taken back. I went in the morning, so that means I was there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which I didn’t have, nor could I hold anything down anyway. That was crazy for me because I was short of breath and coughing up my lungs yet NO ONE ever once asked if I was okay or needed a sip of water or anything.

Now I’ve been an ER nurse, and I know we’re busy running back and forth trying to meet the community’s needs. However, there weren’t that many people in the waiting room. But then I had to remind myself that I didn’t know the volume of patients in the back. So many nurses and medical staff walked past me, I was shocked that no one asked if I needed help or anything. After watching people who had gotten there after me being taken back before me, I rationalized that they had a higher acuity level. So, they took priority over me, or at least that is what I told myself.

I waited until I was called and taken to the back. It was finally my turn, and whew was I glad about it. When I tell you, a thousand things ran through my mind about quality of care, patient satisfaction and press Gainey scores (these are all the things they stay on nurses about). I was like, “oh I can’t wait to get my survey because I sure have a lot to say,” and I indeed said them and didn’t mince my words. Listen, y’all, being a nurse taking care of patients is very different than being a nurse and being the patient, at least it is for me. I tend to let people do their jobs without interference. But PSA: if you’re too sick to advocate for yourself, please make sure you take someone with you if possible or have them on the phone to intercede when needed. Now if I’m a nurse telling you that, please listen to me. At this time, I was suffering. The simplest thing as responding to a question was hard for me without coughing and losing control of my bladder (I had to wear Depends). So, I only answered what was asked and left it at that. However, I will tell you that I really felt like my brain was foggy the whole time I’ve been sick.

I couldn’t remember things. I had to stop and literally think about what I was about to do next and concentrate on it. It was so hard, and I spent many days/nights crying and talking to God. Well, the doctor comes in and finds out I’m a nurse, so she starts to speak to me from one medical professional to another. She tells me all the tests they’re going to run, etc., and I say okay. I go for my CT scan of the chest and abdomen. I could barely get through that because of coughing so much and so hard. I was sitting there doing pursed-lip breathing and guided imagery to control my breathing while going in and out of the machine.

Okay, so back to the room I go, and the doctor returns and says, “even though we won’t know your Covid test results for 24-48 hours I’m pretty sure you have Covid.” I said yes, I do too. She precedes to tell me that I have bilateral pneumonia. Still, they can see Covide granules throughout my lung fields, so they know I have Covid without getting the official results. Now I’m thinking, okay, they will keep me and give me medications to treat the Covid and pneumonia to decrease my symptoms to some degree. No ma’am, no sir, they sure did not.

Instead, the doctor told me they will do absolutely nothing but send me home with a pulse oximeter to monitor my oxygen saturation levels. Wait, what, Miss? Did you say you gonna send me home with both lungs filled with fluid? I’m asthmatic, wheezing, short of breath, incontinent, can hardly walk, AND have Covid? I thought maybe my foggy brain was affecting my hearing. It was not, and yes, she said the reason was that the pneumonia was due to Covid, and they don’t do anything for that unless my O2 sats fall in the 80s. You might as well have slapped me upside my head and knocked me off the bed. I sat there staring at her like a deer in headlights.

When I tell you, my heart dropped, and I wanted to fling myself on that floor and say I ain’t going nowhere, but I didn’t. I said, well, we treat patients with pneumonia and usually don’t send patients home with bilateral pneumonia. She replied, yes, that’s right, typically, but this is Covid, so we don’t treat it. I asked what about my breathing, and she said, well, your saturation levels has stayed at 96%, so you’re okay, and we’ll give you the pulse ox to check your sats at home. Well Lord, let’s pray they don’t fall to the point that I don’t get the opportunity to check or call out to my sons for help. I thought I was gonna die, and she was dead serious. She came in, talked to me, and said the nurse will be in to discharge you.

The nurse came in, and I told her she didn’t have to repeat what the doctor already told me; I understand. When she and I talked, she asked if anything has ever helped my cough, and I told her an ER doctor in Florida gave me IV Magnesium Sulfate, and that calmed me down to the point where I wasn’t short of breath. She said we have given that for asthmatics, so I’ll talk to the doctor, and maybe we can try that to provide you with some relief because you’re so short of breath. She was an excellent nurse with a compassionate heart who attempted to advocate for me, but to no avail.

Well, I told you they discharged me, right? Yup, I was sent home the same way I went in with not even a tiny bit of relief, neither physically, emotionally, or mentally. I remember standing in the shower crying so hard, asking God to please make me feel better because I didn’t know what to do at that point. I thought I was going to die. The healthcare system that was supposed to care for me failed me horrifically, in my opinion. To top it off, I am a part of this broken system. I didn’t feel like I wanted to be a nurse after that. I thought to myself, this can’t be life. Talk about exhaustion!

I returned home to quarantine for my 14 days, and here it is a little over a month later, and I’m still sick. I chalked it up to pneumonia. I’m going to go in and get tested again to make sure it’s actually gone. I also want to see what can be done about this ongoing cough, the headaches, and some of the same symptoms I was displaying with the first diagnosis. School has started back, and I’m pushing my way through that as well. Although I feel bad and am not yet at my full capacity, I can say I’m still blessed because I’m alive. There were times during the last few weeks when I felt like I was going to die, BUT GOD! I’m still here because my purpose has not been fulfilled here on earth. I have to turn my complaints into a spirit of gratitude. Why? Because my situation, although it is not the best, it is not the worse.

This is what I’ll leave you with. COVID is not dead, but a lot of people ARE dead because of this virus. Please do NOT take off your masks. Please do not relax and think that you no longer have to take precautions because you got the vaccine. People who have been fully vaccinated are still getting Covid. Please don’t take your health and the health of others for granted. It is easy to pass on, and some people carry it without symptoms and pass it along to others. Please don’t feel safe because it’s family. Although we don’t purposely give it to our family, we relax, gather, and transmit it. Let’s do the very best at doing OUR individual parts, which can lead to a collective effort to decrease the virus’s spread.

Everyone, including myself, want to go on vacation, take a little trip, and enjoy myself. But, at what cost? How would you feel knowing that your need to get away sent your loved one away (death) or caused someone to get sick? I don’t tell people what to do. I only share my thoughts and my experiences. It is up to each person to make a conscious, informed decision on how they will carry themselves. Maybe before we do things, we should ask, “is this worth my life, the life of my children and/or family, or anyone else?” Again, it’s just my opinion, so eat the meat and throw away the bones. Otherwise, please stay safe, and keep taking precautions like wearing your masks, washing your hands, and/or sanitizing frequently. I wish you and your families excellent health.

Until Next Time,


Practicing Peace

Well, hello, my amazing people. I have been busy being busy and haven’t written in a while. But here I am again to share a little bit of my life’s journey with you once again.

I’ve been practicing being at peace with myself, any decisions I make, and the storms that often hit what is known as “life.” I have grown up being a very highly anxious and panicky individual. Some of that has to do with being an empath, but the other part is that I’ve never learned good coping skills. Well, listen up! It can take some time, work, and effort, but it can definitely happen for you. I was able to pray and ask for it, then work on obtaining it actively. But what does that look like?
To start, it takes acknowledging that something is going on that prevents you from maintaining your peace. I had to look at my stressors and my triggers. What was causing them, and why I reacted the way I did. It took a LOT of letting go of things and people. Initially, I did a lot of self-awareness and deep breathing when I felt my peace was being disturbed. Now, I’ve literally gotten to the place where I just don’t let things affect me as much. I had something happen this week that would usually send me into a panic attack. Instead, I was so calm and handled it with a peace that went beyond what I expected or thought possible. I just looked at the situation and said it is what it is, and now I move on to something else.

How wonderful it is when you can get into the practice of being at peace within. And when things happen that throw you off balance, you can stop, look at the situation and talk your way through it without feeling like you are having a heart attack. Whew, now that’s progress. My words of encouragement to you are to “actively practice” being in a place of peace. Life is life, and it will often throw curveballs, but it’s how we respond that will determine the outcome of our emotional response to those things. When you refuse to allow people, places, and things to steal your peace, you’ll find yourself in a space with a whole “Do Not Disturb” sign inadvertently written all over you. Peace…choose it…live it… and love it.

Until Next Time,


Why Don’t You Talk About It?

As a society, I feel that we don’t really talk about things. Not the things that actually matter anyway. When I say that, I mean that we are dishonest about how we feel, what we are feeling, and what we go through as individuals. There isn’t usually transparency when it comes to the personal things in our lives. And I’m sure there are reasonable and justifiable reasons for this decision. I know I have reasons for my reservations when it comes to what I disclose and to whom. My biggest motivation is people are not good at listening. Just as any other acquired learned behavior, listening has to be practiced to become efficient at it.

In general, I don’t think most people know how to be active listeners. We listen with the intent to judge, fix, or give our opinions on matters. So, how do we fix this mindset? What are some ways to become active listeners? I think we can ask the person what it is they need or are looking for from us as the listener. We can also listen, and if you know the person well enough, you’ll be able to pick up on what they need from you. I know with me that if people start injecting their life situation into the conversation or just cut me off to try and take over the conversation, I completely shut down. I won’t speak anymore about what I was trying to say and probably won’t ever trust myself with them again.

It’s frustrating when there’s no one to listen or the person “supposedly” listening interrupts or speaks harshly about your situation. You don’t know the state of mind that individual is in or what they’re going through. Your words or active listening can be the “thing” between life and death sometimes. So, it’s essential to take the time to gauge what the talker needs. I know I have discussed this in a previous blog, but I thought it nice to readdress it when so many people are suffering in this world. People have lost their jobs, been laid off, and at home with family 24hrs a day. If we didn’t have good coping skills, to begin with, and are trying to handle being in a pandemic with so many uncertainties to their futures can add additional stressors.

If someone reaches out and tries to talk to you, either ask or listen to see what they need from you. When you’re actively listening, you can even figure out when a person’s not telling you what they really want to say. That is if you know them well enough. The point is to try to be the best active listener possible and let people know what you need from them when you call to talk about your feelings, life, etc. Everybody needs somebody! Especially during these times of high stress and transformation in our lives. Be good.

Until Next Time,

ShesThatRN, LLC

Lazy Days Count

We are always moving and shaking. I have come to realize when you move, move, move by the time you stop, you’re exhausted and need a day to do nothing but “slide.” At least that’s my belief anyway, lol. Your body tells you when you need to stop, even when you don’t want to listen. I’ve learned to listen to my body and plan around my lazy days. Saturdays and Sundays are my lazy days. Because even when I have a day off during the week, it usually entails taking care of personal business outside of work. So, today I’ve been in bed most of the day. I mean, I got up to eat and right back in bed. I was so tired from a full week and driving back and forth. I have risen to do some laundry, clean my room, and eat. And now I’m writing this blog. Just remember it is okay to have lazy days because they count. I’m going back to being lazy now, so I’ll talk to you guys later. Keep sliding, as my dad says.