Hey guys, so I have been pondering many thoughts about when we feel stressed, emotional, bewildered, and/or overwhelmed. Taking care of our physical, mental, and spiritual selves requires us to accept what we feel and not try to always be strong and indestructible. I had a conversation today about how I’ve been beside myself with things that have altered my mental wellness for the past few months. What I’ve come to realize is that everyone handles life’s twists and turns very differently. But the one thing that seems to be drilled into us is being strong.
Words such as “suck it up, God didn’t say it would be easy, pull it together, don’t let them see you sweat, and wipe your eyes” leave us believing that any signs of vulnerability or expression of our emotions are unacceptable. We’ve been conditioned to think that feeling any emotions other than positive ones is a sign of weakness. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not. That living up to whomever standards they are should not be your standard or perspective. Please don’t kill yourselves because you’re living up to other people’s individualized plans for your life. Please do what is absolutely best for you because you are important and your feelings are valid.
We cannot continue to define ourselves and our lives according to other people’s preset notions. Whatever you’re feeling, remember “You’re” feeling it, and only you know the reasons for those feelings. So, allow those feelings, think through them, pray through them, or whatever it takes and for however long it takes. Once you’ve done that, usually you can bounce back, but if you can’t, there’s always help.
So, as you know, I am a nurse, and it’s always been my calling and passion for helping people heal and live their best lives. Lately, meaning the last year or so probably since Covid, I have been really disliking the healthcare system. Since becoming a nurse and actually working within the system, I’ve seen so much I don’t like and have had this deep sense of not being able to make the changes within the healthcare system that would benefit nurses and patients. You may wonder why I put nurses before patients. It’s because if we’re not at our best mentally and physically, then we can’t give back to our communities in the way we should. We have to change the narrative and start taking better care of our nurses and healthcare workers. We are on the frontlines whether it’s a pandemic or not. Most often than not, we are “NOT” okay.
I’ve been going through considering leaving nursing altogether. I just feel pieces of my love for nursing, not people, slowly dissipate. I had a patient the other night who’d been in an accident, and I couldn’t do much in terms of moving them because of traction, pins, and rods. But, I offered to bathe them the best I could with a rag, soap, and water. Can I tell you that the patient and family members were so grateful for that “small” gesture of caring? They went on to tell me how they’d been asking, and it hadn’t been done. They only offered wipes, but the fact that I got a basin and hot water and cleaned the patient up from her face to the bottom of her feet meant so much to them.
God spoke to me at that moment and said, this is “WHY” you’re here, Sharon. I know sometimes it’s rough, and you want to throw it all away. And I know that it seems your love for the ministry I placed in you doesn’t always seem worth it. I also know that you are tired and often feel deprived of being loved and cared for in return. However, don’t be discouraged. These little moments that may not seem like much are more than enough. Know that you’re needed and necessary and that there are people who need what only you can give. I stopped and thanked God for giving me hope in the midst of what sometimes feels like hopeless situations. Although I remind myself that other people are worse than me, I also remind myself that whatever I’m feeling is equally important, even if only to me. Needless to say, I am still showing up and giving my all to a system that has no love for me because of those small moments that remind me why I’m here.
Whatever the capacity of love and giving you have, heal you first and keep showing up to provide what you can. Take intermittent breaks to administer yourself some self-love when you need it; however, that looks to you. I just want to end by saying you are necessary, needed, and loved.
Until Next Time,