Grief

So, I was looking through my contacts in my cell phone just now and saw my mom and nephew’s cell phone numbers still programmed in there as they’ve always been. I’ve mistakenly called both numbers before and I’ve called both intentionally just because. Now I understood that “THEY” would not answer but sometimes I think about them so much that I want to hear their voices and imagine what it would be like if they could pick up. I won’t delete their numbers because it feels like I’ll be deleting part of my memory of them. As nurses, or at least from what I remember in nursing school, grieving has many steps to the process. I always thought they came in a specific order like they’re documented in texts, but they don’t. Everyone is different and grieve differently and at different times. So, I don’t beat myself when I get the overwhelming sense to cry or be sad or fall apart, I just let myself have that moment. I don’t think you really think about these kinds of things until they become personal to you. Then it personally affects you and you understand the process a lot better. I’m still grieving my mother and nephew’s death from a little over a year ago. They died a month apart, but the sting is still there to this day. One day at a time Sharon, one day at a time:)

Until next time,

ShesThatRNspiration