So, lately, I’ve been feeling blah, full of emotion, and tears galore. If you follow me, then you can kinda pick up that I’m an emotional being. My oldest son will say to me, “Ma, stop that foolishness. Lord, you’re the biggest cry baby in the world.” And I would respond, you’re right, and I’m okay with that lol. Today though, I came home, and after working out, eating a bowl of vegetable soup, and lying in bed, I felt I needed to do more. I grabbed my Bible and was about to read it when I suddenly couldn’t open up. I mean, I knew the scripture I wanted to read but couldn’t. So, I laid my head on my pillow and began to pray, but I went from lying to sliding off the bed onto my knees. I haven’t prayed on my knees for a long time. I usually talk to God on the way to work and back (beautiful drive from Baltimore to Delaware).
But this time, there was such a sense of urgency that I had to fall on my knees. Have you ever had that feeling or experience? When you just needed something different or something more?
That was my state and my place tonight, and boy did it feel good to purge. I just stayed there, praying and crying out to God. I realized that a lot of the areas I thought were healed, in fact, are still in the healing phase. I was able to get out all the “STUFF” I’d been holding in for a long time. I’m stubborn and prideful, much like my daddy, which is where I get it from lol. I asked God to work on that too because that will hold me hostage, as long as I continue that behavior. Anyway, when I finally got up off my knees, I got back in bed and opened my Bible to Psalm 119 and started to read and meditate on God’s word. Once I was done, I felt a sense of relief and was able to breathe without anxiety, worry, or frustrating pain. In all that I’ve shared, I want to really share one more thing, and that is, don’t hold what’s hurting you in. If you’re too introverted to talk to someone, then talk to God. I find him to be a fantastic listener, he doesn’t judge, and he’s so forgiving. It’s effortless to speak to him, that’s why I do it so much. Be encouraged and be free…whatever free means to you. Just freely be you. Peace and blessings love:}
Until Next Time,