It’s day 10, and I am so glad it’s Friday. I have had a rough couple of nights, but I get my workouts done because it’s a priority for me. There are a million and one excuses for why I could NOT have done them. But I ain’t here for excuses, and I’m learning to apply that to every aspect of my life.
Today, for the first time in a long time, I actually started thinking about Valentine’s Day. I started thinking about how old I am and that no man has ever gifted me or given me flowers or candy or anything for that matter. I began looking at my life as if there was something wrong with me. I started beating myself up, saying, “what’s wrong with me?” I reminisced on how I’ve watched on the sidelines as my female friends, sisters, and family was always getting something or another at various times. But for me, I got nothing. It used to bother me, but then I put it out of my head and felt like I’ve always been able to do for myself, so why not worry about it.
But today, two of my nurse colleagues had these beautiful arrangements of roses delivered to them from their significant other and associate. I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of sadness at the thought that no man had ever thought enough of me to gift me anything. Now when I tell you I was down, I mean I felt depressed and almost teary. I got up and went to the bathroom, said a prayer, and had a little conversation with myself about my beautiful self. I dismissed the negative thoughts I was having and remembered the things I meant to post about the other day. Things like how your thoughts can control, direct, and/or consume you. So, I asked myself, “self, what are you thinking about, and is it going to elevate you or depress you?”
So, I had to let it go. I said one day, the man God has for me will come along and shower me with so much love that it’ll not just make up for what I thought I ‘d been missing but show me that I really hadn’t missed anything at all. I came home, put on my music, and worked out hard. Now, I feel so much better, and I’m about to give myself a great big ole hug and watch me some Netflix and chill. Just me, myself and I. I’m going to give myself some love, and I hope you do the same. Have a fantastic weekend.
Until Next Time,