What Happens When You Psych Yourself Out?

I’m glad you asked that question because I have firsthand knowledge of the answer. I spend a great deal of time making myself physically sick by psyching myself out of things that haven’t even taken place yet. On the day of my launch, I was ready to call it quits. I told myself every reason in the book why I shouldn’t launch, go live, or promote my business. I said Sharon, you’re not young enough, you don’t have the business savvy, you don’t know how to even work live, and what if people don’t like or want to buy what you’ve created for them?

Now, If that’s not psyching yourself out, I don’t know what is. I ran into one of my patients today who I was telling her how confident, strong, independent, determined, and a matriarch my mother was. She looked me evident in the eyes and said well, that’s what how I’ve always seen you. She went on to say that I see you launched your business, you were so confident and sure of yourself, and I always thought of you that way. Of course, I looked at her in amazement because I view myself as a timid, shy, chicken who only becomes bold or assertive if I am pushed to show that side of myself.

What I realized is that I have been thinking too little of myself. My expectations had diminished about what God had tasked me to do. Even more important, my hope of the God of the universe, who sees all, knows all and can do all was shallow. I did notice that though and spoke to God about it over the weekend. When my first order came in, I was shocked. Then, the second-order came in before I went to bed from Etsy, and I was like OMG, WOW! Then I woke up and heard the cash register chime and repeated OMG, people are actually ordering my stuff. Needless to say, I was shocked and totally taken aback. Why? Because I psyched myself into not only believing I couldn’t be a success but that people would not support me.

I went to drop off an order to my sister Aisha (not biological, but you would never know it because she’s my ace). She is NOT a nurse, and I’m the nurse she knows. Well, when I sent her an invoice, I gave her a discount. She told me, “Oh NO, I want a new invoice for the full amount. You don’t give me any discounts. I will pay what you set for your products.” She went on to tell me that I do not need to dumb down myself, cheapen my merchandise, or give discounts. She told me I am worth every penny, and I have worked hard to get everything, so why should I just give it away. Thank you, sis, for the pep talk. God sends his earthly Angels to bless his children exactly when they need it.

I can’t leave out my biological sister, who is an extravert y’all. Erica is on 100 all of the time. She is always reminding me of what I don’t want her too. LOL! I remember calling her about finishing some work for me, and she was like. “Listen here, you need to go live either tonight or this weekend and start selling your merchandise. You can’t wait for other people to talk about and promote your goods. You have to do it and be consistent.” Honey, can I tell you that I got mad at her and she didn’t even know it.

When I get upset, or people challenge me, I get quiet. I agreed with her and got off the phone. But let me tell you I was fussing to God about her, and it went a little something like this “God, I don’t like when people try to force me to do something. I am not an extrovert like she, and I can’t do things like her. I can’t talk in front of people. I can’t just put myself out there because I don’t know how to do that.” She was not listening to that y’all, she was pushing me to my purpose, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it because it made me UNcomfortable. I don’t like being challenged and out of my comfort zone. I’ll come back to that point in just a bit.

What I found out through this experience is that even when you think small, if you know Christ as your personal savior, He will show you just how big HE is! I’ve spent time just pondering over it all. Thanking God for knowing the creature He created before my parents even did. So, I decided to talk differently to myself. I have decided every day, I will speak over myself with positive affirmations and spend more time believing in myself. What I know is that God didn’t make no junk when He made me. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I have to be the one to believe and receive it.

Back to the point of being pushed into your purpose and being pushed out of your comfort zone. I know there is NO growth when you stay in the same place consistently. Even when your body grows, things move. Your bone elongates, you get taller, etc. You don’t grow in a position of stillness and comfort. Sometimes stillness, quiet, and relaxation are necessary depending on the place you are in life. But to move, you have to physically do something like put one foot in front of the other. I am so used to being comfortable, not that I want to be, but I’ve become complacent at watching others do what I want to do.

No more of that. No more of that mindset. If I’m going to talk the talk, then I must walk the walk. Besides, when you have a “why” for what you’re doing, you can stay more focused on achieving your goals. I have a short term “why” of being able to purchase my dad’s diabetic medication that costs more than $500 a month. That is unreasonable to any person, especially someone on a fixed income. He’s my focus, and I have to now have his work ethic. He has worked all his youth/adult life and deserves to ‘slide’ as he calls it. But I want him to slide without worry. To be able to pick up and travel with me when I say I booked us a flight out of the country for a vacation. I want to make sure he’s comfortable because he’s been uncomfortable for a long time, making sure his children’s needs were met. So right now, he’s my ‘why.’

In closing, if I could tell you anything, it would be to get UNcomfortable and STOP psyching yourself out of your blessings. Start doing the things that don’t feel so good, that make you nervous, that puts you in front of people, places, and situations where you are in the forefront. This, my friend, is how you push yourself to achieve your purpose in life whatever that is, or you want it to be. Mine is the ministry of healing, healthcare, advocacy, and providing what nurses and the nursing field need to achieve overall success in its industry. I’m heading to the shower then bed.

Oh and by the way, you can find my custom design products on Etsy. Just look for “ShesThatRNLLC.” Remember Nurse’s Week ends tomorrow so grab your special nurse a gift. If you don’t know a nurse, I’m available and will receive a gift from you. Thanks in advance.

Until Next Time,

ShesThatRN

Published by ShesThatRN

I am an RN working on my DNP, preparing to launch several aspects of my new business and writing and getting ready to publish my first book. I love to write so blogging seemed like a great way to naturally express myself and publish my journey as a nurse.

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