I’ve been intimately disclosing bits and pieces of myself to and with myself. I journal and now blog to help rid my mind of its noise. I quietly silence all the things inside me that tarnish me from the outside. Like when people (patients/coworkers/public) display discriminatory behaviors because of the color of my skin (and that’s Black and White). Yes, I get it from both sides. Or, when people say inappropriate things, or when the environment is harmful and not conducive to a thriving workplace.
I mean, I’ve been a nurse for quite some time now, and I’ve seen and heard a lot of things. I often wrestle with myself as to whether to say something or be quiet as not to hurt anyone’s feelings even though it hurts mine or seems like the “angry Black woman.” However, the thought that every time a Black woman has a difference of opinion goes against the grain or voices concern, she is labeled “angry” is beside me. Because let me tell you the truth, at least for me. Sometimes I am precisely that “angry” and many times have the right to be.
With maturity, wisdom, and growth, I have learned how to voice my concerns or disdain for certain things with a calm but assertive tone. Not to be disrespectful of anyone, but not to allow others to continue and be rude towards me. Couldn’t it be that I “CAN” be angry about situations? I mean, does everyone not get mad about something or another at some point in life. And don’t they voice their concerns? And are they always labeled with stereotypical sayings such as “angry Black Woman?” No, but that dynamic should definitely cease and desist.
I am grown, educated, knowledgeable, and capable of expressing myself without being labeled. I can speak and write with eloquence to voice my opinion. I will no longer be limited to a box that stipulates how or when I can talk or what I can say. I am, for the most part, not angry, but when I am, please don’t discredit my anger and label me for lack of appreciation for what I have to say. Instead, consider that what I have to say is meaningful. Consider that it is valid if only for the reason that I am saying it; therefore, it must bother me.
The world spends more time reconciling differences by ignoring them, shutting them behind a closed curtain, and pretending they don’t exist. Instead, let’s sit down and have a conversation. Let’s agree that we can disagree, but let’s NOT try to shut me up because you don’t want to hear what I have to say or don’t think my thoughts are worthy of acknowledgment. I am Black, a Woman, and a Registered Nurse. I have a Voice that is meaningful and deserving of respect.
I won’t say you have to give respect to receive it because I don’t think that’s true. I often give it regardless of how the other person acts. But as my mother always told me, “respect goes a long ways and manners don’t cost you nothing.” I still cherish her words and carry them with me and I know she’s smiling down from heaven to know that she had a positive impact on my thought processes. Besides, even if you don’t reciprocate it, it has nothing to do with me. We are all responsible and accountable for our own actions. Okay, I’m done thinking out loud.
ShesThatRNspiration 